psssst.... this story could be from trauma (read on...)

Taylor stood there with her head butted up against the wall. She was positioned in a way that she could see her own shadow, nearly all of it. It scared her as it was back in full force, knocking very loudly. Taylor kept answering the knock to the words of, ‘You did something wrong. You’re not good enough”. And, even, “You’re not wanted.” She knew her most recent triggering event (you know, the thing that would set someone off into a tizzy) was working at a job where she appeared to have recreated the same scenario with her co-workers much like what she had done with her siblings. Taylor hated going to work for this very reason. Those negative messages played out in her head no matter if she was visiting her siblings or driving home after putting in the dreaded 8 hours at the office. Those car rides back home couldn’t come fast enough. It was like she was churning the dirty laundry of her mind in her very own washing machine, and when hearing the buzzer go off she’d come get her white work shirts hoping for better results only to find they had turned muddy brown. Change needed to happen. Her therapist told her that in order to change her thoughts Taylor must practice if she wanted to witness different results. But how? “I’m not good enough” needed to be met with the alternative viewpoint of, “I’m good enough,” for example. She began her journey of visualizing a STOP sign any time the negative words got a hold of her mind, and like running water, she would say to herself over and over again, “I AM good enough. I am good enough. I am good enough.” She even wrote these words on multi-colored Post-It notes and taped them onto the white walls throughout her apartment. She was desperate but knew her current state of mind wasn’t working so she figured, “What the heck, I’ll try something different.” Different was working. She wasn’t as afraid of her shadow any longer. It was like she was walking away from it, so to speak, but knew it lingered in the distant horizon and could greet her at any moment. Taylor was more prepared to say hello to it with her new, pristinely washed white shirt.